Words

So do you know that quote that says something to the effect of "nobody can hurt you unless you let them"?  Or how about "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me"? Well guess what. I've decided that this is a false notion. This is great news for every female on the planet.

Psalm 59:7: "Listen to the filth that comes from their mouths; their words cut like swords."

Psalm 64:3: "They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their bitter words like arrows."

These are just two examples, but enough for me to be convinced. This and a chapter from another Max Lucado book ("No Wonder They Call Him The Savior"). 

You see, I get it. I get that the purpose of the cliches I mentioned above were to make us think that we can just get past the crap people say to us. And we can....but GET PAST IT is different than the message that I got. What I heard when I was told these things was, "you're letting their words hurt you. It's your fault that you feel pain over what they have said. If you were a better person, you wouldn't even care about their words." But....honestly? I felt so free when I felt as though I had received permission to be hurt but hurtful words.

Now don't get me wrong here, I believe in getting over it, in moving past it, in taking it in stride. I'm not advocating weakness and a lack of respect for oneself, but I believe that the pain we feel from hurtful words is real. It's REAL! Words can totally hurt you, and it doesn't mean you're weak. So, I believe that if we can face the pain and move on its better than trying to be above the pain, or believing that pain means you're weak. 

This is going to be a ramble....

So I was watching some TV online, and a commercial came on for some Dove therapy conditioner. The dude was asking all these chicks how many hairs he thought they had on their head. One lady guessed "correctly" (aka, according to whomever estimated this) - which was 100,000. Then, the next chick was all, "How do you know, did you count them?" and I couldn't help but think it....God did (Matthew 10:30). 

God doesn't fit in a box. But, some people can understand that, and still talk about putting God in a box, and it can be okay. Other people (like me) wish that boxes for God didn't exist. Okay now let's be clear, I am, in no way, saying that whatever you want to believe can be what God is. Negative. So, I guess, God fits in His own box.... which is so not a box as humans could understand it. But, within the spiritual realm that Christians live in, we try to find boxes to put God into. Like, Baptist. Catholic. Presbyterian. "Non"-denominational. Nope. God doesn't fit into any of these boxes. Why? Because WE created them. We created all of the theological theories. God didn't say, "Hey, here's Calvinism. It's My box of choice." He didn't say, "The Bible is good, sure, but please go find a new way to view Me. My inspired words through My prophets and the gospel of My Son are insufficient to define me to your superior human brains." I think what He really said was, "You shall have no other gods before me" (Deuteronomy 5:7) and, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways" (Isaiah 55:8). So let's be careful! Can we ever be satisfied - or worse, bored - with God's Living Word? I think not. It scares me when I feel like churches are of higher importance in people's lives than God, or that theology is more important that Bible-ology. Can you get so advanced that its more about figuring it out to figure it out than praying God's will for your understanding? I think so. Something else He said, in Matthew 18, was that we are to be like children. Humble ourselves. Think about that. A child may keep asking "why? why? why?" but that child wont stop trusting his/her parents. They ask because they are curious, not because they doubt....and maybe no even because they feel some need to understand. Children trusted Jesus, they had the faith He wants from all of us. It's okay for us to wonder, but really we need to rely on God to reveal answers to us in His own time. It would be so easy to cross the line from curious child of God to scholar with a must-be-right complex. Should we need to understand God to love Him? To worship Him? To follow Him? No. We shouldn't. So, great. Let's learn all that we can. But our teacher should always be God - and our motivation, inspiration, reasons, should be out of love for God. It has nothing to do with us being right, or us finding the more perfect box to shove God into, or wasting precious worship time arguing about why this box doesn't work or that box doesn't work. 

Worst part? This isn't a solution, and why would I be "right" when I'm writing all of this in opposition to people who are much more knowledgeable about all of it than I am? But it doesn't matter. Right now, I love God. I love Him so much and I love His Son and I praise His name every chance I get for what He has been doing lately. And I don't want to step away from that position so that I can stress out about measuring up to whatever it is that I'm trying to measure up to. I don't want to measure up in my knowledge, or my good works, or my time spent with God each day. What I want is to sit back, bow my head, and let God lead the way. I want to take His hand and follow him, not run around looking for something I've already found. 

I really love talking about God, though, don't get me wrong. And I get a real intellectual kick out of talking about the complex theologies of boxes. But I question the motivations behind it sometimes. Of course in myself, but at the moment, I see the questionable motivations more clearly in other(s). 

Bumps in the road, Awesomeness, and Procrastination

So I can't even tell you how cool God is. Nope. Can't do it. Cooler than cool. God is awesome. Amazing. Wonderful. 

I don't know where the doubts come from, specifically. There are multitudes of places where they can just pop up and trip you. But it doesn't matter, they're there - and they trip you, and sometimes you fall, and sometimes you don't want to get up right away. Sometimes you keep walking but you can't stop thinking about that little rock you tripped over. Whatever. None of it is as important as keeping your eyes forward, on God. 

My dad isn't a Christian the way that my mom is. I've never really experienced a guy (my age) whose beliefs were passionate and strong and joyful. But, lately I've been experiencing that in my super dreamy boyfriend. Right now, what I'm cherishing so much about that, is that I can feel kind of blah, and he's gonna be my rock for my connection with the Rock. My human relationship with Tim is almost flawless (perfected in its flaws :) ) and God has just been "pruning our branches" lately, and its kind of awesome. Actually its 100% awesome. Anyway, so, there's a big difference between having girlfriends you can chat about God with, and the love of our life being will to talk about the Love of Life with you. To hear him get excited about Him, to hear him pray to Him and to hear the joy he feels and the difference He makes? Amazing. It's cool to see your friend do it, but it brings you to your knees to see your soul mate do it. 

So I don't know whats up with me right now, but I think its this awesome little sin called procrastination. I don't know where exactly it says that procrastination is a sin, but I'm pretty sure its not God encouraging me to be lazy....and I don't think its debatable that laziness isn't highly recommended by Jesus. So, I was praying after my bible study a few minutes ago and saying, "Lord, whatever this little annoying feeling is, can you take it away?" And since then, I've been hearing this voice, "get out of your house! Go to school. Work on your school work. Learn what I have to teach you about the talents I've given you. Get up, get dressed, and be in my world I gave to you instead of inside your little box of an apartment." So, the really cool thing about that is that God really cares about things like if and when you're doing your homework. And, its not a sign of some huge crazy terrible thing for me to be antsy because I'm refusing to DO anything. Sadly, I'm totally using this blog and probably also the bible study I just did as things to do instead of my homework, but I've obviously lost credibility on that excuse. 

"Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good.

His faithful love endures forever."

~ I Chronicles 16:34

FHL

The Lord's Day

God does awesome stuff. My doubt has been proven wrong, my prayers have been answered, Christ's strength has been revealed in my weakness. 

Today, I went to two church services. In the morning, Presbyterian. We had "The Lord's Supper." I really dug it because that is what we called it at the Baptist church I grew up in. A bit of irony for you? Tonight, at the Baptist church (new one, first time going), we took "Communion." Heh. 

What I thought was particularly awesome was how vaguely connected the two lessons seemed to be, but how crucial the binding thread was. In the morning, we talked about Job and Jesus and suffering. Evening, uncertainty. Uncertainty often leads to suffering, and the question "can you stay faithful and trusting when God seems to be nowhere?" Well, is this not a crucial question to the beginning of Job? It totally is!!! Wow. I love stuff like that. 

God is good. So, so good. 

Isaiah 40:31 (NLT):

"But those who trust in the LORD will fine new strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles. 

They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint."

Romans 8:28 (NIV):

"And we know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

FHL